He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
The spoon I was using to ice my hickey just fell out of my purse while i was paying at the liquor store. I look like an alcoholic with a meth problem.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
Randomize
