don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Randomize
