can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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