Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize
