hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
