I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
