Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Randomize
