is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
