Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
