I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Randomize
