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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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