He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
