just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
I can't put those talents on a resume
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Randomize
