That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
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