For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize
