Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
