Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
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