Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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