so explain again why im purple
no
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
You can't just leave with hair like that
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Randomize
