oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
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