some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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