I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Randomize
