did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Randomize