Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Randomize