I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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