If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
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