at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Randomize
