i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
