Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Randomize
