Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(845): View more from New York

whjeg hajt iyt

(914): View more from New York

say what?

(845): View more from New York

wanna hang out?

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(856): View more from New Jersey

i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.

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(502): View more from Kentucky

so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one

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(985): View more from Louisiana

I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.

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(407): View more from Florida

I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.

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(940): View more from Texas

This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing

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(314): View more from Missouri

I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.

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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD

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(828): View more from North Carolina

Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?

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