he puts the penis in happiness.
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
