She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Randomize
