Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
