we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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