Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
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