its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
