who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
