But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Randomize
