and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
Is Oprah even human
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
