Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
i black out too much to be "responsible"
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
