he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
