Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
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