I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
