she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I believe in your delicious
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
Randomize
