i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
Randomize
