love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
