Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
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