I don't remember. Are we still dating?
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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