im about as happy as oj after his trial
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Randomize
