We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Randomize
