So drunk, too bad you don't want this
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
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