I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
