eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
Randomize
