I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
Randomize
