She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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