I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
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