Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Randomize
