Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Randomize
