Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
