we're chasing vodka with high fives
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
